The Three Foliage Sizes of Collected Trees

Michael Hagedorn

That title needs explaining.

When we collect a tree from the wild, the needles or leaves that come out that first year might be tiny. We begin to tap a beer keg in celebration of having unwittingly collected the only half-sized foliage plant on the mountain, clearly a dwarf of some sort, maybe making us millions in a future patent. The next spring we’re crushed with foliage that is larger than the species normally is, and we’re back at the beer keg for some external support. The third spring the thing settles down into normal sized foliage and we finish our keg thinking that our ship will never come in.

Fortunately, you’re not alone. Everyone else is getting drunk on the same experience. Why is it that foliage size varies so dramatically in the years after collecting, and how did we get so foxed by a plant?

The reason involves…

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